The Chicago Family Law Blog

People Who Believe In Soul Mates More Likely To Divorce

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A recent poll conducted by Marist College in upstate New York found that two-thirds of Americans buy into the notion of a soul mate, that there is one special person they are meant to be with, according to College Times. That's nice; but another study by the University of Virginia concluded that those who believe in soul mates are actually 150 percent more likely to get divorced than those who don't.

Why is that? Chicago Sun-Times sex and relationships columnist Dr. Laura Berman wrote in a September article that the concept of soul mates creates an "us-against-them" ideal that just doesn't mesh with reality.

Marriages that tend to be more successful, she added, tend to consider the family as a whole and the surrounding community. So if you enter into marriage as a commitment to a whole cast of individuals (including your mother-in-law, for example), she said, you're better prepared for the reality of marriage.

Another reason why soul-mate-believing couples are more likely to need Chicago family law attorneys has to do with the dangers of what Dr. Laura Berman calls "a fairy-tale version of 'happily ever after.'" Unrealistic expectations that may come with the idea that your spouse is "The One," she argues, often comes into conflict with the actual work required to make a marriage work:

"It simply means accepting that all relationships take work, especially when it comes to marriage. Your partner can't be perfect all the time, even if he or she is your soul mate. You still have to communicate your feelings, work through tough times, and even pick up the slack every now and then."

A believe that your partner is your soul mate, she continues, can reinforce a misleading idea that the relationship doesn't require effort to build and maintain, "especially in the bedroom."

This doesn't mean romantics are one-and-a-half times as likely to get divorced as pragmatists, just that unrealistic marriage expectations are the surest path to a divorce attorney in Chicago.

Related Resources:

  • Are You Ready for Marriage? A Test (FindLaw)
  • Consult with an Illinois Family Lawyer (FindLaw)
  • Hit the Road Mark: Jenny Sanford Files For Divorce (FindLaw's Celebrity Justice Blog)

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