You should've listened to the crusty old man masquerading as Kant when he handed out unwanted and unhealthy life advice like popsicles out of a paneled van. "Don't worry, things will get worse." "Expect the worst, you'll never be disappointed." And y'all definitely should have listened to us when we advised that a prenuptial agreement was the way to go.
So now, you're getting divorced. And you're fighting over the $1,200 Kirby vacuum cleaner. (Who needs a $1,200 vacuum cleaner? No one, but that's not the point.) You bought it, and it was never used.