Elizabeth Marquardt, author of the book “Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce,” suggested in a recent Huffington Post column that the children of divorce are often stigmatized by potential mates when they begin dating.
It used to be that children of divorce were always stigmatized, told they were from “broken homes,” but she argues the increasing divorce rate has made them quite ordinary. Research does show that the children of divorce often suffer several social problems.
Social scientist Mavis Hetherington concluded from her own studies that the grown children of divorce had a higher chance of needing their own Chicago family law attorneys one day. But, she added, those who married spouses from intact families had better odds of a lasting marriage.
Still, the author’s column mostly focuses on the perception of people whose parents were divorced when they were still young:
It appears that public discussion of studies about the “marriageability” of young adults from divorced families is shaping attitudes these young people confront when they enter the dating and marriage market. Far from ending the stigma of divorce, it seems that widespread divorce has merely shifted the stigma onto the next generation.
So even if you truly are a good catch and capable of forming a healthy and lasting marriage, you may be perceived as damaged goods. The author said she experienced this herself when her soon-to-be-ex step father had the nerve to tell her that her chances for a lasting marriage didn’t look so good because of her own parents’ histories of divorce.
Now, she said, she has been happily married for 14 years and has two well-adjusted children of her own. She had this to say to those who might question the “marriageability” of children of divorce:
We grew up fast and we know how to take care of ourselves. Many of us are, frankly, quite wonderful. Marry us.
But divorce attorneys in Chicago are happy to help you out if it doesn’t quite work out. Divorce can happen to the best of us.
- Divorce: Easing the Strain on Children (FindLaw)
- Find an Illinois Family Law Attorney (FindLaw)
- Responsibility for Children With Disabilities During and After Divorce (FindLaw KnowledgeBase)